Beware of the Ego and Its Ambitions

There is a specific pain that almost everyone has felt and almost no one talks about: you did something good and someone else got the credit.

You organized the project, but someone else presented it. You cleaned the whole house and your mom thanked your brother. You had the idea, and the idea became "his idea." Notice what really bothers you in those moments. Often it is not the loss — it is the fact that no one knows it was you.

That feeling has a name, and the name is very old: ego.

Today's lesson takes a tiny letter, almost a note, to deal with this. It is as short as the letter we studied last Sunday — both fit on a postcard. And inside it there are two portraits we recognize right away: a man who lived to serve and a man who lived to be served.

Before going on, a warning about how to read this lesson, because it is easy to misuse. The mirror here is for you. It is not a list of symptoms for you to go around identifying who in your church is the villain of the story. If you finish this class with a name in your head other than your own, the lesson did not work.

In this class we are going to meet the three names that appear in this letter, separate legitimate ambition from ego — which are not the same thing — and arrive at the only place where this conversation can end: in Christ.

1. A letter of two names

The writer is the apostle John, around AD 90, from Ephesus, already old, already an experienced leader. And unlike almost all the letters in the New Testament, this one is not addressed to a church: it is addressed to a person. "The elder, To the beloved Gaius, whom I love in the truth:" (3 John 1).

The purpose of the letter is twofold, and the two sides appear side by side. On one side, John writes to commend Gaius for his hospitality and support toward the missionaries who passed through there. On the other, he writes to warn about a man named Diotrephes, who was causing division in that church. And a third name also appears at the end, almost in passing: Demetrius, the man of whom everyone gave a good testimony.

Three names, three portraits: Gaius, an example of faithfulness. Diotrephes, an example of pride. Demetrius, an example of a good testimony.

The Golden Text is the sentence with which John opens his commendation: "For I was overjoyed when the brothers came and testified about your devotion to the truth, in which you continue to walk." (3 John 3). And right after that he says something worth stopping to read twice: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." (3 John 4).

Notice where the news came from. It was not Gaius who told him. It was other people who came to John and spoke about him. Keep that detail in mind, because it will come back later.

🏛 Curiosity — what it meant to welcome the brothers. In the first century there were no Christian church buildings, no reliable hotels, and no organized network of churches. Missionaries traveled from city to city and depended entirely on the hospitality of those who were already Christians: a bed, food, and a house where the congregation could meet. That is why John writes that they set out for the sake of His Name, receiving nothing from the Gentiles (3 John 7) — in other words, they did not charge outsiders, they did not turn preaching into a business. And he concludes: "Therefore we ought to support such men, so that we may be fellow workers for the truth." (3 John 8). Whoever hosted them was not a supporting actor in the mission. He was a fellow worker in it. Opening one's home was, literally, taking part in the work.

2. Gaius: faithful in everything, and loves without choosing

John sums up Gaius in one sentence: "Beloved, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, and especially since they are strangers to you." (3 John 5).

Two things in that sentence deserve attention.

In everything he did. That does not mean Gaius never sinned. It means he did not have one version of himself for church and another for the rest of life. His faithfulness was not a Sunday outfit.

And this is where the lesson touches you in a very direct way. It is relatively easy to look spiritual inside the church — the environment helps, everyone is doing the same thing. True character shows up in other places: at school, in the group chat, in the way you talk when you are annoyed, in honesty in your studies, in what you do when no one from church is watching.

Think of an ordinary scene. The test is hard, half the class cheated, no one got caught, and no one is going to get caught. Not cheating there does not give you a grade, does not get you praise, does not give you anything visible. That isero-sum proof of why it is faithfulness: it is the part of your life that only God sees.

And toward strangers. The second mark of Gaius is even more uncomfortable. He treated those from inside and those from outside the same way. He did not pick and choose whom to serve.

The ego, when it acts, always picks and chooses. It calculates: is it worth being seen helping this person? Does this bring me closer to the people I want to be around? Does this pay off? Loving like Christ is the opposite of that — it is serving without keeping score, because the Bible is firm in saying that God shows no partiality (Acts 10:34; Romans 2:11; James 2:1).

Translate that into your week. A new student arrives at school and no one starts a conversation with him, because he is different, or shy, or does not fit in anywhere. The group has already decided he is not worth the effort. Sitting next to that person will not earn you anything — and that is the exact point. Whoever loves like Christ does not ask who deserves it.

3. Diotrephes: the man who wanted the first place

Now the heavy part of the letter. And John does not beat around the bush:

"I have written to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not accept our instruction." (3 John 9)

Read the middle expression again: who loves to be first among them. It is not a generic accusation of pride. It is a very specific description of a man who wanted to be first inside the church.

Ω In the original — Greek. The word translated as loving to be first among them is philoprōteúōn (φιλοπρωτεύων). It is made of two pieces glued together: philéo, to love, to like; and prōtos, first. Literally, "the one who loves to be first." This word appears only once in the entire New Testament — it was coined here, for this case. And notice that the Greek does not describe an office: it describes an affection. Diotrephes' problem was not on his badge; it was in what he loved.

It is also worth noting that "ego" is neither a religious term nor an insult. In Greek, egṓ (ἐγώ) — and later, in Latin, ego — simply means "I." It is the shortest word in the language and the hardest one to move out of the center.

The text shows the damage happening in three layers:

First: he spoke evil of the leadership. John says that Diotrephes had been spreading malicious words against them (3 John 10). It was not open and honest disagreement — it was talk behind their backs, insinuation, rumor. The Bible takes words seriously because words build up and words tear down.

Today this has become cheaper than ever. An offensive joke in the group chat, a comment about a leader without knowing half the facts, a forwarded screenshot, an "I heard that." No one needs to climb onto a stage to ruin someone's reputation: thirty seconds and a phone are enough.

And there is a root to this that the lesson points out plainly: rebellion against those who lead almost always springs from a heart that refuses to be corrected. A leader gives you guidance. Instead of thinking about it, you talk back right away, defend yourself right away, go complain to your friends right away. Whoever rejects all correction closes the door to their own growth — and that door locks from the inside.

Second: he blocked others. He refuses to welcome the brothers, stops those who want to do so, and puts them out of the church (3 John 10). Notice the scale of this. It was not enough for Diotrephes not to serve; he stopped those who wanted to serve. It was not enough to reject the missionaries; he threw out those who welcomed them.

The ego does not sit quietly in its corner. It creates cliques, creates rivalry, creates exclusion. A group of teenagers that decides, without saying it out loud, that so-and-so is not welcome in the activities — because they do not like him, because he is awkward, because he does not fit in — is doing, on their scale, the exact same thing Diotrephes was doing on his. Pride divides; love unites. And the contrast with John is striking: the same apostle would introduce himself in Revelation as a fellow partaker in the affliction and in the kingdom (Revelation 1:9).

Third: he used the church as a stage. This is the heart of the lesson. Diotrephes was not wrong for wanting to lead — the Bible treats leadership as something good and necessary. He was wrong in his motive. Jesus taught that authority in the Kingdom is exercised by serving, not by bossing others around. When the heart seeks position above purpose, ministry stops glorifying Christ and starts glorifying the person.

There is a small, spot-on example of this, right at your age level: the young person who only agrees to take part in praise when they get to sing solo and show off their talent; when given another role, they lose interest. It was not the role that changed. It was the spotlight that disappeared. Many people want the position; few want the responsibility that comes with it.

🔬 Our reading. Now the most important warning in this article, and it needs to be spelled out plainly: 3 John 10 is not permission for you to expose anyone. John was an apostle. He had authority over that church, was going there in person, and would deal with the matter head-on, in the presence of the congregation. That is church governance, carried out by someone who holds responsibility — it is not a model for a teenager to organize an exposé, put together a dossier, or start a debate in a group chat. When you see something wrong in your church, the Christian path is this: pray, and speak privately with the leadership or with your parents. No audience, no screenshots, no "I'm just venting." The only exception is a serious situation that harms someone or puts someone at risk: then you tell a trusted adult right away, and the adult handles it. Aside from that, the rule is simple: gossip does not become service to God just because the topic is spiritual.

4. Ambition is not a sin. Ego is.

Here the lesson needs surgical precision, because it is easy to walk out of a study like this afraid of wanting anything at all.

So let us separate things properly. Wanting to grow is not a sin. Studying to pass, practicing to play better, dreaming of a career, wanting to learn, wanting to do what you do well — none of that is Diotrephes. The Bible commands us to work with dedication and calls laziness a problem, not a virtue. God is not honored when a believer turns in their worst.

What the lesson condemns is something else: the ego that uses the work of God as a stage. It is the ambition that steps on people. It is wanting the front spot more than wanting the Kingdom.

Paul puts this in a way that leaves no escape: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3). And he adds: "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4). Notice the word "also." Paul did not tell you to stop existing, or to stop taking care of your own life. He told you to stop looking only at it.

The saddest diagnosis in the chapter is a short sentence Paul drops almost in passing: "For all the others look after their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 2:21). That was written about Christians. About church people.

So instead of trying to measure the size of your pride — which is impossible to measure honestly — use three concrete questions. They are meant to be answered in silence, inside your own head:

1. If no one knew what you do for God, would you keep doing it with the same willingness?
2. What makes your heart happier: seeing Christ glorified or seeing yourself recognized?
3. When someone else is praised for something you also do well, what happens on the inside?

The third one is usually the most revealing. It is easy to be humble when you are alone.

5. Do not follow what is evil — and the name almost no one remembers

After describing Diotrephes, John does not leave the story without an application. He turns to Gaius and says:

"Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. The one who does good is of God; the one who does evil has not seen God." (3 John 11)

Notice the verb: follow — or imitate. John is talking about imitation. And the Christian life, in the end, is a sequence of choices about whom to imitate.

This is especially important at your age, because this is the stage of life when the most people are competing for that spot: school, the crowd, the accounts you follow, the artist, the athlete, the influencer, and sometimes even someone inside the church. The question most people ask is "is this person famous?" The right question is different: "does this person's life point to God?" Not everything that goes viral deserves to be copied.

And the second half of the verse says something strong: whoever does good is of God. Be careful not to read that as "good works save" — that is not what it means, and the Bible is clear that we are saved by grace. What John is saying is that our life gives away whom we belong to. God is the source of all goodness; so true goodness bears His mark. Good works do not buy salvation, but they reveal a life that has been changed.

And this is where our faith comes in: we believe that the new birth and the empowering of the Holy Spirit make the Christian able to reject sin and live in holiness. It is not willpower, and it is not automatic either. Grace empowers; you cooperate. Every day. Diotrephes is proof that it is possible to be inside the church and resist that grace — and Gaius is proof that it is possible to cooperate with it even in the things no one sees.

Finally, the name almost no one remembers. Before closing the letter, John writes: "Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself. We also testify for him, and you know that our testimony is true." (3 John 12).

Demetrius has no recorded speech, no spectacular feat, not a single line of biography. He has only one thing: people spoke well of him. And from what we understand of the custom of the time, he was probably the one who carried this letter in his hand to Gaius — the mail carrier of the story, the guy who did the job.

Notice the final contrast of the letter. Diotrephes fought to be first and was marked forever as the example of pride. Demetrius simply did what was right, and the Bible recorded his name with a note anyone would love to have.

Christ in the Lesson

The opposite of Diotrephes is not "being humble." Humility, by itself, is just a behavior — and behavior can be faked. The opposite of Diotrephes is a Person.

And there is a scene in the Gospel that needs to be told here, because it keeps this lesson from turning into spiritual arrogance.

Two disciples came up to Jesus with a request: "They answered, “Grant that one of us may sit at Your right hand and the other at Your left in Your glory.”" (Mark 10:37). They wanted the two best seats. They wanted the first place.

And one of those two was John. The very same man who, sixty years later, would write against Diotrephes for wanting the first place.

Hold on to that, because it changes the tone of everything. When John denounces the love of first place, he is not speaking from a pedestal. He is speaking as someone who once asked for that very thing and was corrected by Jesus Himself. This lesson is not a pointed finger; it is a man showing his own scar.

And look at how Jesus answered the two disciples' request. He did not say, "how absurd, forget about greatness." He did something far more interesting: He redefined what it means to be great.

"But it shall not be this way among you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be the slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:43-45)

Read it slowly: Jesus did not forbid wanting to be great. He said which way leads there. In the Kingdom, the way up goes through the bottom.

And He did not teach that from a distance. Paul tells how it happened:

"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death — even death on a cross." (Philippians 2:5-8)

Stop at that phrase: emptying Himself — making Himself of no reputation.

Diotrephes fought for reputation inside a small provincial church. Jesus had all the glory of the universe and gave it up. One fought for a place of prominence in front of a few dozen people; the Other, being God, accepted the lowest place that existed — the cross, the death reserved for slaves and criminals.

And the next verse closes the circle: "Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name above all names," (Philippians 2:9). The first place that Diotrephes tried to seize by force was given to Christ, because He went down first.

So the question of this lesson was never "are you proud?" The question is: who holds the first place in your heart — Christ or yourself?

And the answer is not for you to try harder to be humble. It is to look at Him for so long that your "I" stops being the subject.

Practical Application

Examine the motive, not the size. Do not stop dreaming, do not stop studying, do not stop wanting to do things well. Just ask, before every decision this week: does this glorify God or does it only feed my ego? That question fits into five seconds and protects an entire year.

Serve once without credit. The most honest test that you are not on a stage is to do something good that no one will know was you. It is not about being a hero. It is so you can feel the difference.

Spend time with someone who earns you nothing. Once this week, sit next to someone who is alone, or start a conversation with someone the group ignores. Gaius treated insiders and outsiders the same way.

Accept a correction without defending yourself. When someone guides you — your dad, your mom, a teacher, a leader — hold your answer for ten seconds and listen all the way to the end before arguing. A teachable spirit is not weakness; it is the only door through which growth enters.

Cut off gossip at its entry point. If a comment about someone from church reaches you, your part is simple: do not pass it on. You do not need to lecture anyone, you do not need to announce that you are not going to comment. Just do not pass it on.

And if you saw something truly wrong, take it to those who hold responsibility. Pray for that person and talk privately with the leadership or with your parents. If it is something serious, tell a trusted adult right away. What is never the right path is the group chat.

Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus, You had all glory and made Yourself of no reputation for me. I have almost nothing and still fight for the first place. Forgive me for the times I wanted to be seen more than to be useful, and for the times I served only because someone was watching. Guard my mouth from speaking evil of people. Give me a heart that accepts correction without defending itself. And Lord, help me not to walk out of here looking for faults in others: the mirror is mine. May I want to grow, yes, but in the way You taught — by serving. In Your name, amen.

Soli Deo Gloria — Scripture governs; everything else, on its knees.

Teacher's Guide

Essence of the class

The opposite of the ego is not belittling yourself: it is Christ, who being God made Himself of no reputation and took the form of a servant — and the mirror of this lesson points inward, never at the person in the next pew.

Map of the class

Time	Stage
0–5 min	Opening (the credit that went to someone else)
5–13 min	Point 1 — Gaius: faithful in everything, loves without choosing
13–23 min	Point 2 — Diotrephes and the first place (+ what the text does NOT authorize)
23–31 min	Class activity — "The two columns (and the third)"
31–37 min	Point 3 — Ambition is not a sin; ego is
37–42 min	Christ in the Lesson + hard questions
42–45 min	Wrap-up + challenge + prayer

Start like this

Start by asking: "Have you ever done something good and someone else got the credit? What bothered you more — the loss, or the fact that no one knew it was you?" Let two or three answer. School projects, household chores, an idea stolen in the group will come up. Do not correct anyone and do not moralize the answer — let honesty happen. Then say: "Hold on to that feeling, because it has a name. And its name is the subject of today's lesson." Open the Bible to 3 John and warn the class right up front: "This letter has two opposite characters. And before we start, I want us to agree on one thing: today we are not going to look for Diotrephes in anyone in this church. Today's mirror points inward." Say that out loud — it is what protects the entire class.

Point 1 — Gaius: faithful in everything, loves without choosing

• In the quarterly: topic 1 ("Introduction to the epistle") and topic 2 ("The true Christian," sub-items 2.1 and 2.2).
• What to teach: John writes around AD 90, from Ephesus, to an individual — Gaius — with two purposes: to commend him for his hospitality to the missionaries and to warn about Diotrephes. Explain what welcoming the brothers meant in the first century: there were no church buildings or reliable inns, so opening one's home meant hosting, supporting, and taking part in the mission (3 John 7-8). Then draw out the two marks of Gaius: he was faithful in everything (he did not have one version of himself for church and another for the rest of life) and he loved without choosing (he treated insiders and outsiders the same). Ground this in the two concrete examples: the test where everyone cheated and no one would get caught; the new student whom the group decided to ignore.
• Anchor verse (BSB): "Beloved, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, and especially since they are strangers to you." (3 John 5)
• Key question: "In what place of your week is it hardest to be the same person you are in here?"
• Likely answers (+ going deeper): "at school," "in the WhatsApp group," "right at home," "when I'm angry." Go deeper: "And why is it harder there? What changes when no one from church is around?"
• If no one speaks: start with yourself, with something small and real from your own week — traffic, a line, a sharp reply at home. When the teacher opens up first, the class loosens up. Then go back to 3 John 3 and show the detail: the ones who told John about Gaius were other people; Gaius did not advertise himself.

Point 2 — Diotrephes: the man who wanted the first place

• In the quarterly: topic 3 ("Opposition to the work of God," sub-items 3.1, 3.2, and 3.3).
• What to teach: read 3 John 9-10 aloud and unpack the expression about loving to be first among them — in Greek, a single word that literally means "the one who loves to be first," and that appears only once in the entire New Testament. Show the three layers of damage: (1) he spoke evil of the leadership with malicious words; (2) he blocked and threw out those who wanted to serve; (3) he used the church as a stage. Connect each one to their world: rumors in a group chat, a clique that excludes others, the young person who only serves when they can be seen. And then say the most important part of the class, out loud and without beating around the bush: 3 John 10 is an act of John's apostolic authority over that church — it is not permission for any student to expose, point fingers at, or confront a leader. When a teenager sees something wrong, the path is to pray and speak privately with the leadership or with their parents; and if it is something serious that harms someone, to tell a trusted adult right away. Never in the group chat, never in public.
• Anchor verse (BSB): "I have written to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not accept our instruction." (3 John 9)
• Key question: "What is the difference between wanting to lead and wanting to be first?"
• Likely answers (+ going deeper): "it's the same thing," "leading is helping," "I don't know." Go deeper: "Then answer it this way: does someone who wants to lead accept the boring part of the job? And what about someone who wants to be first — do they accept it?"
• If no one speaks: give the praise team example — the young person who only wants to participate when they can sing solo and disappears when given another role. Ask just this: "what changed? The role or the spotlight?"

Point 3 — Ambition is not a sin. Ego is.

• In the quarterly: topic 4 ("Counsels and concepts," sub-items 4.1 and 4.2).
• What to teach: this point fixes the misunderstanding the class may have created. Spell it out plainly: wanting to grow is not a sin. Studying to pass, practicing, dreaming of a career, wanting to do things well — none of that is Diotrephes; the Bible commands us to work with dedication. What the lesson condemns is the ego that uses the work of God as a stage and steps on people. Read Philippians 2:3-4 and highlight the word "also" in verse 4: Paul did not tell anyone to disappear; he told us to stop looking only inward. Then go to 3 John 11 and point out the verb follow (or imitate): the Christian life is a sequence of choices about whom to imitate — and the right question is never "is this person famous?", but "does their life point to God?". Close with Demetrius (3 John 12): no speech, no spectacular feat, just a good testimony — and his name remained. Take care of a doctrinal detail here: saying that whoever does good is of God does not mean that good works save; it means that a person's life reveals whom they belong to. Grace empowers, and the believer cooperates with it every day.
• Anchor verse (BSB): "Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. The one who does good is of God; the one who does evil has not seen God." (3 John 11)
• Key question: "Outside the church, who are the three people who most influence the way you think today?"
• Likely answers (+ going deeper): they will mention friends, an account they follow, an artist, an athlete, an older sibling. Go deeper without judging anyone: "and where does that person's life point? If you turned into them in ten years, would that be a good thing?"
• If no one speaks: share who influenced you at their age and what that produced — both the good and the bad. Then read 3 John 12 and ask: "did you know this name? Demetrius did nothing spectacular. He was just reliable. And he stayed in the Bible."

Class activity

• Goal: make the contrast of the letter visible on the board and show that the opposite of Diotrephes is not "being humble," it is Christ — without any student having to confess anything out loud.
• Materials: a board and chalk or marker (or a large sheet of paper and a pen), and the class's Bibles. A small slip of paper and a pen for each student.
• Step by step: agree on the rule before starting, out loud: "we are only going to write what is written in the text about Gaius and about Diotrephes. No name of anyone from this church goes on this board." Divide the class into two halves. One half reads 3 John 3-8 and lists everything the letter says about Gaius; the other half reads 3 John 9-11 and lists everything the letter says about Diotrephes. Give them four minutes. Write the two columns on the board, side by side, with the names at the top. Let the class look at the contrast in silence for a few seconds. Then ask: "Which of these two is the opposite of the other?" — they will say Gaius. Then open a third column, write CHRIST at the top, read Mark 10:45 and Philippians 2:7, and write underneath: came not to be served, but to serve and emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant. To close, hand the slip of paper to each student and say: "write one sentence starting with 'I want to be first in...' and put it in your pocket. No one is going to read it, no one is going to collect it, no one is going to share it. It is between you and God."
• Wrap-up (back to the text): "Notice what happened to the board. The opposite of Diotrephes is not Gaius: Gaius is just a man who learned from Someone. The opposite of Diotrephes is Christ, who had everything and came down. That is why the way out in this lesson is not for you to try harder to be more humble — it is to look at Him for so long that your 'I' stops being the subject. And that slip of paper in your pocket: read it again tonight, with God, and only with Him."

If they ask you this

• Question: "Religion at the end of the day is just people wanting power — it's right there in your own Bible, with this Diotrephes." Short answer: Yes, it is right there — and that is the exact point. The Bible could have hidden this man and did not: it wrote down his name, his conduct, and the damage he caused, and preserved it for two thousand years. A book made to promote an institution does not do that. That there are people using faith to get power is true, and the Bible is the first to denounce it. Yet that says nothing about whether Christ is true. It speaks about the human heart — including mine.
• Question: "Isn't being humble just being a doormat? Doesn't that destroy your self-esteem?" Short answer: Biblical humility is not thinking you are trash — that is just reverse ego, it is still a conversation about yourself. Paul defines it like this: "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4). Notice the word also: he did not tell you to disappear, he told you to stop looking only inward. And the supreme example of this is not a failure: it is Someone who had all glory and chose to serve.
• Question: "So a Christian can't have ambition? Do we have to accept being a failure?" Short answer: No, and that confusion ruins a lot of people. The Bible commands us to work well and has no sympathy for laziness. When the disciples asked for the best seats, Jesus did not say "forget about greatness" — He said how to get there: whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant (Mark 10:43). Studying, practicing, dreaming of a career: none of that is the problem. The problem is using people as a stepping stone.
• Question: "You tell us to obey leaders. What about when the leader is a Diotrephes? Do you cover it up?" Short answer: No, and the Bible itself is the proof: it recorded the case instead of covering it up. What we do not do is handle it the wrong way. A leadership failure is dealt with through prayer and with those who hold responsibility — the pastor, the church leadership, parents — privately. It is not dealt with in a group chat or in front of an audience. And if it is something serious that harms someone, then it is not a matter for a teenager to solve alone: you tell a trusted adult right away, and the adult acts.

Wrap-up + challenge of the week

• Wrap-up: "Two things to take with you from here. First: when John wrote against the man who loved the first place, he knew what he was talking about — he himself had once asked Jesus for one of the two best seats, and was corrected. This is not a pointed finger; it is a scar shown. Second: the opposite of the ego is not belittling yourself. It is Christ, who had everything and emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant (Philippians 2:7). Diotrephes fought for a place of prominence in front of a few dozen people. Jesus, being God, accepted the lowest place that existed. And the first place that Diotrephes tried to seize by force was given to Him, because He went down first."
• Challenge: this week, choose one "first place" that would rightfully be yours — your turn, the front spot, the credit for an idea, the last word in an argument, the best piece — and hand it over on purpose to someone else. Just once, with a day and time. And do not announce to anyone, at the time, that you did it on purpose. On Sunday, come back with the story.
• How to follow up on Sunday: open the class by asking what was given up and to whom — do not ask whether the student "managed to be humble" and do not ask anyone to confess pride out loud. If someone did not do it, move on without embarrassing them. Explain to the class, if needed, why sharing it here does not contradict "do not announce it": everyone received the same assignment, so in class this is accountability, not a showcase. And if a student opens up about something serious, welcome them without asking for details in front of the others — "thank you for trusting me, let's talk after class" — and take it to the leadership that same day.

Teacher's kit

• Before: read the whole of 3 John aloud (it takes two minutes) and the topic in the quarterly. Also read Mark 10:35-45 and Philippians 2:1-11, because the class closes with both. And prepare your own heart for this specific class: this is the lesson where the teacher runs the greatest risk of sending an indirect message to someone in the church. If you have a grievance with someone in leadership or in the class, settle it before Saturday — outside of class.
• Bring: a Bible, chalk or markers for the three columns, small slips of paper, and pens for the end of the activity. Bring extra Bibles: not every student has their own.
• Pray beforehand: ask God that no one leaves this class with a name in their head other than their own. The risk of this class is not that the students will become proud; it is that they will walk out hunting for Diotrephes in others. Pray that the mirror points inward — including for you.

Homework

Your mission for the week

Choose one "first place" that would rightfully be yours this week — your turn, the front spot, the credit for an idea, the last word in an argument, the best piece — and hand it over on purpose to someone else. Just once, with the day and time marked in your memory. And do not announce to anyone, at the time, that you did it on purpose.

Why

Diotrephes loved to be first among the brothers (3 John 9), and that is why he is remembered as the example of pride. Christ did the opposite: He emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant (Philippians 2:7). In the Kingdom, the way up goes through the bottom — whoever wants to be first among you must be the servant of all (Mark 10:44). Giving up a place that was yours is the only way to discover how much it weighed.

How to know you did it

You know the day, the situation, and the name of the person who got that place. If you know the name, you did it.

On Sunday, come back with the story

The next class opens with those who gave up their place. And do not worry: sharing it here is not showing off, because the whole class received the same assignment — here it is accountability, not a showcase.